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38. Feeling amazing, scared, overwhelmed and useless

Feeling Amazing Scared

Grocery shopping, a bit of site-seeing, new friends, serious leaks, and feeling overwhelmed

We’ve been in Gibraltar now for 6 days and I’ve gone through a whole range of emotions. Some good and some terrible. Overall, I’m feeling amazing, scared, overwhelmed, and useless.

On the positive side…

While I was typing in my journal along the quayside I looked up, felt the sun, stared at Britican (right in front of me), and felt elation.  I felt as if I was truly thriving. There in front of me was my new floating palace. The sun warmed my body and I could see my family having fun investigating new areas on the boat. I felt as if all the pieces of the puzzle finally fell into place.

Feeling Amazing Scared

We were all able to take some time out for a bit of sight seeing too. The four of us put on our sunscreen on and headed for the Gibraltar cable car. It takes you up to the top of the rock. When we arrived at the cable car there was a sign saying that due to strong winds the car was closed. That’s okay! We then progressed to a botanical garden area that housed a little zoo.

Sienna ran around pointing out beautiful flowers and running away from anything that looked like a bug and the rest of us took in the amazing views. We saw a variety of colors – pinks, purples, and greens offset by the beautiful blue Straights of Gibraltar in the background. I felt so peaceful and kept thinking, ‘this is the start of our explorations!’ It was so nice just to feel warm!

We’ve also been greeted by Gibraltar’s Meteorologist Steph (shown below with Sienna) and her lovely husband Steve. Before leaving on our great adventure I met Steph over Twitter and I must say it was so very nice to put a face to a name. Steph and Steve joined us for a couple of drinks and we had a great chat. We talked about the weather (obviously), our backgrounds, and a variety of other things. It’s so interesting to discover how people end up where they are – where they live and the profession they’ve chosen. Steph even offered to drive us around Gibraltar on her day off. How kind is that?!

Feeling-Amazing-Scared4

And speaking about Twitter, another Twitter friend put a Gibraltar pilot book in the back of our tender while we were out.  So many people slate social media but if people could realize that it’s a great way to connect with others they’d see the potential in it.

On the negative side…

Last night I found myself using a screwdriver to take apart wooden panels located behind our seating area. Luckily, while my husband and I were finding and ‘exercising’ all the seacocks we came across a rather serious leak. First of all, seacocks are levers that open and close inlets and outlets in the hull – so areas where water can come into the boat. On a monthly basis you want to keep these greased up and moving easily. Our boat has 23 of these little babies and it took us hours to find them all! Simon and I had floorboards pulled up all over the place.

Back to the leak. One of the bolts that hold our rigging down is to blame. The bolt goes through the top of the boat into a cupboard area behind our table area. The rigging is attached to the mast and is under serious tension so it’s not a job that we can fix. We need a professional. Fingers crossed that someone can fix it on Monday – a day after we were planning on leaving Gibraltar.

The leak wasn’t very manageable! The water was pouring into the boat. We did our best to cover the bolt from the top and stuff towels into the leaking area. Both Simon and Loryn woke up during the night to change the soaking towels. I wasn’t too worried about water getting into the boat as the bilge pump would push it out. I was more worried about the water ruining the beautiful woodwork.

Feeling Amazing Scared

Aside from the leak, we’ve had issues with our batteries and have discovered an internal leak from our aft head (back bathroom).  Simon and I have no clue about anything and overall we’ve been feeling a bit useless.

We have books on boats, boat maintenance, engines, and sailing but they’re not helping

We don’t have a master resource that we can call upon to say, ‘what do you do if this happens?’ Yes, we have access to Google, but we don’t even know what question to ask!

After buying a hydrometer (recommended by a guy we called) and testing our battery acid we discovered that our batteries are all in excellent shape. Somehow the digital reporting device is wrong and needs to be reset. First of all, I had no idea that you could use a baster type device to suck up battery acid. Second of all, I didn’t know you could buy a £5 device to test it.

Part of me feels overwhelmed but there’s another part of me that keeps reminding myself to persevere. Heck, what choice do I have? I can’t bury my head in the sand. I need to use my problem-solving skills, keep a cool head, and get on with it! Just like I’ve been doing all my life.

I don’t know. Perhaps I was thinking that everything would be perfect to start off with and problems would come up later? Perhaps I’m just living through a massive transition and I need to chill out a bit. Hehehe. That’s probably the case.

Today, as I’m writing this, I’m feeling better

We’ll get everything sorted out. In fact, that’s part of the adventure. Nothing’s more exciting than not having all the answers and trying to figure them out.

We’re forming a routine but I’m not sure how long it will last

As far as our current routine goes, we all wake up in the morning and make some coffee using our special Italian coffee maker. We then walk ¼ mile to the marina showers and enjoy a wonderfully hot shower. Thereafter, Loryn and I go to Morrisons, a grocer store, and fill up 1 to 2 shopping carts of food and water. The first few days we loaded up our backpacks but in the last two days we’ve called a taxi to help us. In the last two days I think we’ve put 50 1.5 ltr bottles of water on the boat.

Feeling Amazing Scared

Thankfully, Loryn is cooking up a storm so that we have food for our 7-day voyage to Malta. Thus far she’s made chili, curry, two pasta bakes, soup, taco pie, beef stew, and a chicken Cajun dish. I cannot imagine myself trying to sort out the boat, talk to the press, look after Sienna, and cook too. I am so thankful that she’s with us. What a blessing.

Other than cooking, cleaning, and a bit of site seeing, we’ve been trying to get to grips with the yacht. She’s so big and there are so many cabinets, floorboards, and crevices. Every day I’m finding something new. Just yesterday I was pulling up a floorboard to find the grey water tank and I found a toolbox labeled, ‘Spare Engine Parts,’ and two pairs of wellington boots that the previous owner must have left!

And before we flew down from England, I created a daily, weekly, and monthly checklist. The daily checks include things for the generator and engine in addition to things like making sure the freezer and fridge water flows are working fine. On my list, I have, ‘Check Racors.’

Well…I’ve found the Racors but I don’t know what they are or what I need to do with them. Writing this makes me feel like I’m a total idiot. The learning curve is so steep. I just don’t know what anything is and that makes me feel so vulnerable.

I know. I know. It will change. And this is what learning is all about

So, that’s it for now. My friends Ene and Skipper Mike are on a flight down from England as I type. Ene’s going to join us on our first leg and take some spectacutlar photo’s and Skipper Mike is going to help us figure out how the heck we manage this humongous boat!

Here’s to feeling amazing, scared, overwhelmed and useless!

Next Chapter: 39. Sailing Gibraltar To Malta

Previous Chapter: 37. Life aboard our new yacht with the BBC, Daily Mail and Times in tow

Or…if you’d like to carry on reading all about our journey from selling up and sailing away, you can purchase my book, ‘Changing Lifestyles – Trading the Rat Race in For A Sail Around The World,’ 

Changing LifestylesREADER REVIEW
Amazon Reader. 5 Star Review!
"This is the story of a woman who was on multiple journeys; looking for a change in her life's course, learning the ropes of a new boat, and navigating what it is to parent a child as she and her husband embark on this journey. Great as an adventure story, but also got me excited to read it as a travel guide!" Cherie
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Comments

  1. ANdrew says

    March 29, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    I am in awe of what you are doing. Well done to each of you.
    Please tell us the second you leave Gibraltar so we can think of you and shout 3 cheers..

    Reply
    • Kim Brown says

      March 30, 2014 at 7:00 pm

      Thank you Andrew. I’m so lucky to have you in my life! I can’t see how you could possibly be in awe of me?!?!? You’re working to help educate one billion kids…I’m trying to fix leaks. Hehehehe. I have the YellowBrick tracker on my ‘Locator’ page so you can see where we are. And perhaps when you’re in Malawi and I’m in the middle of the ocean we can txt. Or…perhaps I can intercept a balloon for you one day 🙂 You’re the best! Big love. x

      Reply
  2. Dave says

    March 29, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    Your “Racors” are your fuel filters and if you are not using the engine or generator, I would not check them everyday. The filters are at the top and have glass or metal bowls at the bottom that help trap water in the bottom along with some sediment. You need to drain this water off, as needed, until you get to diesel fuel. You also need to have a few spares on board at all times. When the filters at the top start getting clogged you switch to the 2nd one and change the filter in the first one. Depending on the areas you are going to and how much you are using your engine/generator, I would have 4-6 spares fuel filters on board. You never know when you might get some bad diesel. Be sure you are carrying oil absorbent towel and something you can put the used items in so they do not catch fire.

    Reply
    • Kim Brown says

      March 30, 2014 at 6:58 pm

      Thank you Dave! Our skipper arrived last night and he’s been very helpful. In my diesel engine course we didn’t cover Racors so I was lost when I found them. Today has been a long day. We have had some positives though! I feel like I’m working non-stop! Hehehehehehe. Nothing changes 🙂 Thanks for the comments and FBing me. We’re making progress and by this time next year, we might know a thing or two.

      Reply
  3. Patrick Genovese says

    April 14, 2014 at 11:08 pm

    For all things electrical an mechanical i strongly reccommend is book

    Boatowner’s electrical and mechanical manual by Nigel Calder

    http://www.amazon.com/Boatowners-Mechanical-Electrical-Manual-Essential/dp/0071432388

    The chapters on battery managment alone will save you lots of money by helping you learn to manage your batteries properly and prevent premature battery degradation.

    Also on the fuel front get one of these ( http://goo.gl/JYdtIa ) racor fuel filter funnels and any time you top up your fuel tanks make sure that the fuel goes through this funnel first. It will stop water in the diesel from reaching your tank reducing your chances of contaminating your fuel supply.

    Best regard & fair winds..

    Reply
    • Kim Brown says

      April 15, 2014 at 1:33 pm

      Thank you for these recommendations Patrick! We really appreciate it – will definitely get that book and check out your other link. Big smiles!

      Reply

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Changing Lifestyles: Trading in the Rat Race for a Sail Around The World (my book). Chapters:

  • 1. That’s it – I’m selling everything and sailing around the world!

  • 2. Oh crap – Are we healthy enough to sail around the world?

  • 3. House sold, price on yacht almost negotiated – just need temporary housing now!

  • 4. Before I sell up and sail away I need to clean out my closet (in many ways)

  • 5. Getting the boat of our dreams – will we or won’t we?

  • 6. Negotiations 56 Oyster Yacht have finished but not without massive pain

  • 7. Everything was going well until we got this phone call…

  • 8. Quick, quick – we need to sell our current boat. We need a place to live. We need to…

  • 9. My new normal and dealing with giving up all our possessions

  • 10. Going from sailing Selene to selling Selene so we could afford to buy our 56′

  • 11. Sea trials and the survey – the night before we meet our dream yacht

  • 12. Hours before we meet our new yacht…our new home!

  • 13. Sea trials on the Oyster 56 were a success – we love her!

  • 14. Getting a yacht lifted out for a Marine Survey

  • Extra: Sell Up and Sail Away Video – Sea Trails & Survey

  • 15. After sea trials and the survey I ran a marathon (accidentally)

  • 16. What does homeschooling, the paleo diet, writing, and photography have to do with sailing?

  • 17. I’m so freaking frustrated – the world is broken

  • 18. Saying goodbye to my old routines and old lifestyle

  • 19. Life has slowed way down – is it the calm before the storm?

  • 20. A lesson on stopping the ‘what-if’s’ from taking over my life!

  • 21. Serious issue – we can’t take our yacht to Barcelona, Spain as planned – YIKES!

  • Extra: Sell Up and Sail Away Video 2 – Our thoughts, feelings and move day!

  • 22. The day before we purchase our 56′ Oyster

  • 23. My first trip on our new yacht – Dolphins included!

  • 24. Feeling excited, sick, and in awe are not mutually exclusive when sailing on the seas

  • 25.Things got worse

  • Extra: Sell Up and Sail Away Video 3 – Palma Mallorca to Gibraltar

  • 26. Sell up and sail away preparations – we successfully took possession of your new yacht

  • 27. Preparation for our around the world sailing trip couldn’t get more exciting!

  • 28. Two months to go before we set sail for our world adventure

  • 29. We got a gun, but not the kind you’re probably thinking of

  • 30. The contrast of sailing around the world and cancer

  • Extra: The reason I decided to sell up and sail away (video)

  • 31. Courses, becoming British, putting our remaining possessions on a pallet and what else?

  • Extra. No – we did not win the lottery!

  • 32. Less than 3 weeks to go before we sail off into the sunset

  • 33. Ten days to go before we set sail on our grand adventure

  • 34. Will this sailing adventure turn me into a dreadlocked, pot smoking, whale saver?

  • 35. In 2 days we will set sail around the world sailing adventure

  • 36. Leaving Gosport England today to start on our around the world sailing adventure

  • 37. Life aboard our new yacht with the BBC, Daily Mail and Times in tow

  • 38. Feeling amazing, scared, overwhelmed and useless

  • 39. Sailing Gibraltar To Malta

  • 40. I’m honoured to introduce Loryn Bennett – Britican’s Chef

  • 41. I still can’t even believe this is happening

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