All hope was lost so hubby and I decided to back down from negotiations 56 Oyster Yacht.
Who needs the exact ‘dream’ boat anyway? Why stretch ourselves to a breaking point when it’s going to cause us financial worry? Why get an amazing deal if the journey won’t be as amazing. Negotiations on our dream yacht just weren’t working. It was impossible for us to buy the 56′ Oyster yacht we wanted AND have enough money to sail around the world with her.
If our current boat sold quickly, we’d be fine but boats can take years to sell. What if we couldn’t sell our Moody 346 quickly? We’d run the risk of actually running out of money. We just couldn’t take the risk. It was time to consider another boat. Sob, sob, sob.
And then everything changed within minutes.
Our ‘solve-every-problem’ broker (who is actually a lovely guy) asked us about having the option of making a final deferred payment. In short, we could pay for 90% of the boat and defer about 10% to give us breathing space. We’d still be able to take possession of the boat – we’d just owe the previous owner a final sum within a set time frame.
Surely our current boat will sell within a year? And the payment for that boat will clear our final debt with the seller of the new boat. And even if we don’t sell the boat, if all else fails we have some ISA’s (tax-free savings) that can be cashed in. We don’t want to cash in our ISA’s but at least we have the money if all else fails.
Do we go for it or do we stay home? Oh-my-gosh. The stress of it all!
Yesterday on the 24th of October we agreed on the deal verbally. The contracts are being put together and the logistics of seeing, surveying, sailing the boat for a sea trial are all being arranged.
OMG, OMG, OMG – we’re getting a 56′ Oyster Yacht – OMG, OMG, OMG.
Oddly, my shoulders have relaxed a bit but my jaw has tightened. The discomfort I feel in my mouth alone would be enough to send some people to the luny bin. Every tooth in my mouth is untouchable – I can’t eat. I can’t chew. My whole jaw has involuntarily been wound uptight. I can’t even talk like I normally do!
I’m prone to stress but it’s always manifested in my shoulders – this must be a different kind of stress?!
Desperate attempts to alleviate the pain – Meditation, EFT, and then Wine.
Desperate for relief, I did a stress releasing guided meditation to unearth why I was so wound up. I kept drawing a blank when the audio woman asked, ‘let any beliefs, images, ideas come to mind when you focus on the pain.’ And throughout the day I’d watch my thoughts wondering what’s causing this tension but I’d see nothing. It’s as if I had this underlying switch – the freak out switch – and once it’s been turned on, it’s on.
After the meditation, I tried the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). It’s a way to short-circuit your nervous system. Someone mentioned it so I look up how to do it on YouTube. While thinking of the issue, you tap on various points on your body to shock your body into removing the stress, pain, or issue. I must admit that I was surprised to feel some relief but it wasn’t long after that the pain resumed to full strength.
After a bit of wine – my ultimate medicine of choice, I felt a bit more ease in my jaw.
I suppose the alcohol got in there and relaxed some of the muscles a bit. Furthermore, I had my friend, Ene, over and just talking things out seemed to help a bit. What would I do without my friends?!
But when I went to bed not only did I have the aching jaw, I kept getting a fuzzy buzz in my right foot. I still have it now! The buzz feels circular and is below the right toes and in the middle of the foot. When you get on your tiptoes, it’s that area that still hits the floor. What the heck is that? Am I being zapped with energy from somewhere or is energy leaving me? Or am I really losing the plot? I’m not imagining it – I can feel it and it’s annoying.
Living your dream should come with a health warning.
On one hand, I don’t want to sound ungrateful and complain that I’m suffering stress because I’ve decided to sell everything I own and sail around the world. But on the other hand, I’m in pain – physical pain. My jaw is just the focal point – the rest of my body aches. I want this to go away yet I see no logical way of alleviating my body’s reaction to me smashing all my comfort zones. It’s like
I’ve thrown my body into a raging river and I’m being carried along for a ride that I can’t get off of.
I want to focus on the exciting adventures we’re bound to have – soaking up the warm sun rays, swimming in the blue waters, and enjoying local fresh food. And…I want to visualize new friends, exciting new places to visit, and the closeness that our family will experience. I want to play out in my mind the friends that will visit, the laughs we’ll enjoy and the memories we’ll make. But none of that comes through with my present body state – I just can’t feel it. My whole body is a bag of nerves and it’s vibrating all sanity away from me. Arrrrrrgggggghhhhhh.
If anyone dare says, ‘It’s easy for some’ I’m going to punch them in the face.
I can totally understand why people say in their comfort zones! Feeling similar when I started my company – for months I was physically unwell. My shoulders were tight, my breath shallow, my tummy in knots, and my mental outlook shadowed with grayness.
How can I enjoy this journey?
I must find a way to live the dream and enjoy living it – a way to break out of my comfort zone and get my body to agree to dance or flow through life rather than turn into a bag of nerves! I don’t want to paddle upstream. Instead, I want to be comfortable flowing down the raging river. I do hope that my heart is able to weather this ride. If I die living the dream I’ll be so upset.
Previous Chapter: 5. Getting the boat of our dreams – will we or won’t we?
Extra: Negotiations Oyster 56 Yacht.
This video was filmed much later but discusses our negotiations.
Picture source: Oyster Yachts
Or…if you’d like to carry on reading all about our journey from selling up and sailing away, you can purchase my book, ‘Changing Lifestyles – Trading the Rat Race in For A Sail Around The World,’