Sailing Tips for Couples

What are our top sailing tips for couples? Embarking on a full-time bluewater sailing adventure as a couple is a thrilling journey that promises not only picturesque sunsets and tranquil anchorages but also tests the bonds of partnership.

The open sea becomes your home, and the sailboat your haven. To make the most of this incredible journey, it’s essential to be prepared, communicative, and adaptable.

This article will delve into valuable sailing tips for couples setting out on a full-time cruising adventure, helping you navigate both the waves and your relationship.

1. Communication is the True North of Your Journey

Clear communication is the keel that keeps your sailing partnership steady. Discuss your individual roles and responsibilities aboard the sailboat. Assign tasks based on strengths and preferences – one might be a navigation expert, while the other excels at sail trimming. Establishing routines and protocols will help prevent misunderstandings and conflicts during critical moments.

When Simon and I started off we both tried to do everything together. We didn’t know any sailing tips for couples! The pair of us quickly realized that Simon was good at passage planning and I was better at provisioning and menu planning. If I planned a passage who knows where we’d end up? If Simon provisioned, we’d live on frozen pizzas and hot dogs!

Interestingly, there were some tasks where we fed off each other and often discovered solutions. For example, every time an engine would die (genset or main engine), we’d bounce ideas off each other. I often surprised myself when I came up with ways to narrow issues down.  Sometimes two were better than one. Other times, life worked much better when we focused on what we liked and had a natural inclination to do.

Of course…there were also jobs that neither of us wanted to do. Cleaning a blocked head comes to mind! I’m ever so grateful that Simon took that job. On the flip side, whenever we had a puker I’d be the one holding hair out of the way, cleaning the mess, and cleaning the chunks out of the deck.

2. Learn Together Because Knowledge is Your Best Wind

Whether it’s sail handling, navigation, or basic engine maintenance, learn these skills together. Attend sailing courses as a couple to strengthen your sailing expertise. This shared knowledge will empower both of you to make confident decisions on the water, enhance your sailing experience, and build mutual respect for each other’s contributions.

Simon and I did our RYA qualifications together for Day Skipper. We also did a Diesel marine engine course, safety aboard a boat, and medical care aboard a ship course. For the most part, we had a great time learning from professionals. If I had to learn from Simon, however, that would have been hard.

Back when he was a Physical Fitness instructor I took one of his circuit classes. He tried to tell me I was doing my pull-up’s wrong and it didn’t go well! Me and Simon learning together was fine. Simon trying to tell me what to do never worked!

I think that’s why our Sailing Lifestyle Experiences work so well. It’s hard to be a couple and learn from your partner. When your loved one tries to tell you that you’re doing something wrong or uses the wrong tone of voice (irritation?!) things can go wrong!

3. Plan, but Embrace Spontaneity

Sailing tips for couples are many, but this one is a big one.

Full-time bluewater cruising involves meticulous planning, but also remember to leave room for spontaneity. While having a general route and schedule is wise, allow yourselves to follow the wind and your instincts. Some of the most memorable experiences come from unexpected detours and chance encounters with new places and people.

Actually, it’s not about leaving room for spontaneity. It’s more like being able to pivot. I can’t tell you how many times our plan was to go from A to B and we’d end up at D or F!

One of the best parts of the sailing life is going with the flow. Or…learning how to go with the flow. I used to be such a control freak so it really threw me off when we didn’t get to where we wanted to go.

Time after time, however, I learned that wherever we did end up was amazing. Whether we got to B or F didn’t matter. The end result was always brilliant.

4. Weather the Storms – On Deck and in Your Relationship

Both literal storms at sea and emotional challenges in your relationship will arise. Understand that tough times are a natural part of any journey. In times of conflict, listen actively, express your feelings honestly, and find compromises. Just as you adapt to changing weather conditions, adapt to each other’s needs and emotions.

Over the years Simon and I had a few explosive arguments. It’s natural.

I’d want to leave but there was nowhere to go so I’d simmer down. I wasn’t going to swim to shore, now was I?! Within an hour or so, after the smoke cleared, we’d both talk it out.

Your friends and family will think you’re living the dream. Yes, it is a dream come true but it’s also real life. Things like arguments will still happen. It’s okay. At least you’re having a domestic spat in the middle of turquoise blue waters looking at an amazing white sandy beach! Remember to count your blessings 😉

5. Maintain Individuality in Your Togetherness – Sailing Tips for Couples

While sailing as a couple, it’s important to maintain individual hobbies and interests. Allocate personal time for reading, writing, fishing, yoga, walks or anything that brings you joy. This ensures you have the space to recharge and return to your partnership with renewed energy.

Every morning Simon would get up and hang out in the saloon. I’d hand back in the aft bed. He’d play his Candy Crush and I’d read one of my feel-good books. When I woke, Simon would ask me if I wanted a cup of coffee and he’d deliver it. I’d often say, ‘is the coffee truck coming today?’

After an hour or so I’d get up and make us breakfast. We had our ‘me-time’ in the morning and it was important to us. Simon would go out with his friends and I’d go to the spa with the girls. We had our time apart knowing that it was important to do so.

6. Respect Each Other’s Roles and Expertise

Recognize that you both bring unique strengths to the sailing experience. If one excels at navigation, let them lead in that aspect, while the other manages cooking or boat maintenance. Trust each other’s capabilities and acknowledge that there is no single “right” way to do things. This is another good tip when it comes to sailing tips for couples!

Gosh. Simon is so good at maneuvering the boat in tight spaces that I’d never intervene! He’s also amazing at passage planning, weather routine, sailing, and dealing with bad storms. I’m more on the domesticated side of things – cooking, cleaning, and looking after our daughter.

It’s funny. I was one of those girls that had a power suit and would eat men for breakfast. I didn’t clean or cook – I paid people to do that! When I got on the boat I not only found that I could cook and clean well, but I actually enjoyed it! (Don’t tell Simon that I’ve admitted that).

7. Celebrate Small Victories and Milestones

Mark each successful voyage, safe anchorage, and shared achievement with celebration. A small ritual, like a toast during sunset, can become a cherished tradition that reminds you of your accomplishments as a sailing couple.

If you watch Simon come into a dock, he’s amazing. I’m not sure how he does it but he can make our boat do things that shouldn’t be possible. Simon gets into spaces that most people wouldn’t attempt. Once we’re all tied up and the engine goes off, you’ll see us doing a fist pump!

We celebrate good docking, beating the boat racing us (if there’s more than one boat on the water at the same time, they are racing), and troubleshooting an issue. We also enjoyed the sunset together most nights.

Another thing we celebrated was our first big voyage, hitting 1,000 miles, and then 10,000, and then 45,000!

8. Sailing Tips for Couples – Stay Mindful of Space Limitations

Living on a sailboat means adapting to limited space. Embrace minimalism and regularly declutter to maintain a comfortable living environment. Give each other personal space when needed, and create efficient storage solutions to keep your sailboat organized.

Every year we’d have a clear-out and get rid of anything we didn’t use. Simon was annoyed that I had so many paper books. I was annoyed that he had tools that were only used once a year. Why did we need a dremel or a vice?

For the most part, we were good at decluttering the boat. Both Simon and I like clean, minimalistic spaces so we’re similar in that respect.

Regarding personal space, we always had a rule that if one of us needed space, all we had to do was go forward to the mast and take a seat. That would be a sign that we needed time alone. We shared this rule with our crew when we crossed the Atlantic Ocean, taking 18 days at sea.

Interestingly, in the ten years of sailing, I never went forward for space. None of our crew ever have either.

9. Learn from Others, but Write Your Own Story

Gather advice and experiences from other cruising couples, but remember that your journey is uniquely yours. Embrace challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning, and celebrate the triumphs that are solely yours.

With social media and sailing channels, it’s easy to get caught up on what other sailing couples are doing. Like all advice that you get in life, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Your story is more important than anyone else’s so own it!

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Setting sail as a couple on a full-time bluewater adventure is an extraordinary undertaking that demands teamwork, communication, and adaptability. By following these sailing tips for couples, you’ll not only navigate the seas with confidence but also nurture and strengthen your relationship.

Embrace the unknown, celebrate the victories, weather the storms, and let the open water be the canvas upon which your shared love story is painted. Choose life’s course!

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